Excited about the idea about being a part of Impact, I applied to be a Team Lead right away. I was so set on being one that under the application I even marked that position for both my first and second choice, just so whoever reviewed them would just see how much I wanted it. However, when I received the email explaining my position as a helper, I felt it was a title
for the people they didn't have room for and I just thought to myself, how could I ever hope to change these kids behind a sign directing traffic? However, God still used me in more ways I could have imagined.

In the beginning of Impact, we started with a day of games. As a helper it was our job to set up the boundaries of cones, get supplies ready for the upcoming games and participate if needed to. Todays games happened to involve a lot of water like water balloon tosses and relay races with cups of water. Unfortunately, since one of the boys were sick, he couldn't get wet and had to sit out for all the games. I decided to talk to him and just keep him company. Somethings I found out about him surprised me. As I talked to him the subject of where he lived and the kind of people he played with had come up. He told me that all the kids in his apartment always said bad words and he didn't like it. And I was amazed. Here was this third grader who found it so wrong for other kids his age and older to be using foul language. His response reminded me that children were so pure, innocent and soft-hearted and that as they grow up in this world, their hearts were going to be subjected to hardening by what they saw around them. But in this moment I couldn't help but think that though these children are small, God is working in them and it is up to us to guide them in the right path. We continued to talk and it surprised me how he just wouldn't stop sharing more about himself to someone he just met. Later, the conversation ended with us just talking about our favorite Pokemon.

The next week I sat at the registration table while the kids lined up to be checked in. Next in line was the boy I kept company last week. He approached the table with the biggest smile ever, yelling “Hey Mr. Hugo!” While I was checking him in I noticed he looked from side to side as he reached into his pocket. Out he pulled out what seemed to be something flat. Covering it was scraps of line paper held loosely by pieces of bright lime green painters tape he probably found at home. It was probably the worst wrapping I've ever seen, but then he handed it to me. I asked him what it was and when I opened it I saw that there were two Pokemon cards. He remembered our conversation last week and so he got me those two cards as a present. I was so touched. I saw how these kids desired love and affection so easily and so much. And just in that one conversation I had in which I showed interest in him and his life, he did feel love and he felt like he could trust me. And just by looking at how this kid wanted love, I was reminded that this is the case for all of us adults as well we hide it. From his immediate response of kindness towards me, I knew that this kid along with the others in Impact were so easily molded and that was scary. However, when they came there on Sundays, it was our calling to love them and shape their hearts.

I realized that God never said that only people with certain important titles can make a difference in these kids' lives, but that we are called to love no matter what titles we hold. And in the weeks I have been a helper, I've actually seen these kids open up more and more and I've seen the opportunities that God has placed in front of me to love them. And when I notice all these opportunities, I know that these kids are just yearning for love. Though I came in with a bad attitude because I didn't get what I wanted, God said I still choose you to love these.

When we have our monthly convalescent home visit, it is not always easy. Sometimes the residents are down and discouraged, seem to be doing worse mentally or physically, and even the best we can do--hold their hands and sing songs and tell them about God's love--seems to be
so little. Many of our residents have some degree of dementia or mental difficulties, making even simple conversation at times a challenge.

But one time, while we were singing and presenting the message in the large group room, I noticed a few relatives in the doorway. Usually visiting relatives just come and talk or take residents to their rooms when we are there, but these relatives just sat in the hallway
observing.

After the program, I approached them and asked if they were visiting or looking for a resident. One woman smiled and said yes, my mother, gesturing to an elderly Chinese grandma in the center of the room who was talking with one of us. I urged her to go in, it's okay, you can just come in, but she shook her head and said it's okay, she's having a good time talking with that sister.

She looked at me gratefully and said, thank you. Beginning to tear up, she related, I was so worried about leaving my mother alone today, but we had Sunday worship service and there was a baptism today too…but God knew and He provided, you were here so she was not alone. I found myself beginning to tear up too, as I was so overwhelmed that God would use us, so helpless and limited and moreover, broken, to be an answer to someone else's prayer. Truly He is a God who calls things that are not as though they were.

This summer, I went to Thailand for a two-week mission trip, teaching elementary students about the gospel for the first week (while enjoying the beautiful Thai beaches), and reaching out to the rural villagers and helping the second week. The mission trip broadened my perspective on the gospel and God - because it really is true and necessary for all people, everywhere.

I didn't want to forget this lesson, especially with the fall semester and a new year's worth of Bible studies at USF to look forward to. Going on a short-term mission trip can be a thrilling, eye-opening experience, but sometimes it can be a letdown to go back to my normal life. Luckily for me, the devotional text after Thailand was Psalm 32. Verses 1-2 are "Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord does not count against him and in whose spirit is no deceit." I experienced these verses to be true in Thailand as I reflected on how the people I met needed the blessing of God's forgiveness. Regardless of who they were, be they rich university students or privileged elementary school children, or the poor villagers, the ones who did not know the joy of being forgiven of their sins were not blessed because they did not know the risen Lord Jesus Christ, who loved them and died for their sins.

The simple gospel of God's love hit me afresh, especially when I met the Christians who suffered from leprosy. They lived in a hospital that was founded by a Christian missionary 100 years ago, and they were some of the most joyful people I had met! They were so happy to be with us, clapping along with the songs we were singing, even though many lost their fingers to leprosy. And I was convinced again that true happiness doesn't come from a store, but from knowing Jesus personally and growing in that relationship.

Impact is a ministry that is very dear to me not only because I was once a part of it, but mostly because I had the privilege to witness these children grow and open up to me. I remember that I initially signed up for Impact again during the 2nd Springfest, not because I really wanted to but because I just felt obligated to. However, God still used this selfish undeserving person like me to show these kids about his wonderful love. I remember during Springfest and the weeks following, I had a really hard time trying to get my girls to say more than one word when I asked them a question. There were times when I questioned myself and wondered why I get up so early every Sunday to serve them. However, as time went on, my kids started to open up to me because they were more comfortable and even told me that they missed me. During class time and Joyland, as I watched them learn and absorb everything that was presented to them, I was just in awe. I must admit that there were mornings when I just wished that I didn’t have Impact so that I could sleep in more, but when I got there and saw my girls running to me after they registered, I knew that it was all worth it.

I still remembered one Sunday when one of my girls came to Impact even though she had been having stomachaches on and off for the past few days. I had never seen her without a smile on her face, but on that Sunday she was just clutching her stomach after she arrived. Just seeing her in pain really broke my heart and I wished I could make that pain go away for her, but of course I didn’t have that ability. I took her into one of the classrooms and asked if she wanted me to take her home because obviously she was in so much pain, she was tearing up. She told me that she didn’t want to go home and just requested some water. I remember wondering why she didn’t just want to go home, but didn’t ponder much after it. After about 20 minutes of just rubbing her stomach and trying to find different ways to make her feel better, I asked her again if she wanted to go home. Finally, because of the sheer pain, she responded yes. When I got to her house, her mom was just thanking me for taking her home and apologizing for all the inconvenience. I told her that her daughter was having stomachaches and asked her to just give her some medicine. The mom then told me that she has been having stomachaches for the past few days, but she really wanted to go to Impact, so she told her mom she was feeling better so that she could attend. After I heard that, I was just in such shock. I thought that I wasn’t making that much of a difference in these kids’ lives, but the fact is that I am. I felt yet again so undeserving to be able to serve these precious kids.

As my last Sunday was quickly approaching, I began to become more attached to my kids. In the beginning, I remember thinking to myself that I don’t mind transitioning to college ministry because these kids were not opening up to me no matter how hard I tried. However, as the weeks passed, the girls started to open up to me more and were very comfortable around me. In particular, this one girl who never said more than a word and only smiled when I asked her a question actually responded to my questions and comments. I was surprised and also ashamed that I had no faith and was losing hope in them. Through this, God really reminded me that when it comes to reaching out to others, whether they are old or young, it really takes a lot of patience and love. I will never forget all the precious time and memories that were given to me. Yes, there were times when I questioned if the girls were bored of playing duck duck goose every week, or just having me ask them the same questions every week, I know that all that doesn’t matter because they just enjoy our presence and guidance.

Even though I didn’t particularly enjoy the times when I had to discipline my kids or had to deal with bad behavior, I must admit that it was still such a big privilege and joy to serve in Impact. It has only been one weekend since the transition and I already miss the kids so much. I am going to miss seeing their giant smiles every Sunday morning. I am going to miss watching them grow and learn more about God. I am even going to miss trying to get them to write down what they learn, but despite all that I know that God has plans for them to prosper even though I am no longer their team lead.

Recently, I had the special opportunity to visit Austin, Texas only a few weeks after our very own Gracepoint Austin team departed from California to start a church there. My friend Grace Kim (Kairos One, Berkeley) and I had the responsibility of taking Corrie to her new home since she had stayed back to attend the FTS Retreat. Three and a half hours later, we landed on Texas soil. We were picked up by Sunny and Sarah and the kiddos – Nayo, Nico, and Karis, and we headed off to the UT-Austin campus for a tour. Only a five minute drive from campus was Sunny and Manny’s house – a duplex right next to John and Kelly’s (from Waypoint Community Church in Davis & my old youth teachers!). Grace and I spent the day helping Sunny with things around the house and Sarah with the UT-Austin Koinonia picture board – decorated not with blue and gold as we’re used to, but a burnt-orange hue and a longhorn, of course!

The next day, Thursday, we started our day with DT and Prayer Band (for both Taiwan and Austin) next door at Kelly’s. Afterwards, Margaret and Kelly headed off to work, Sunny and Grace went on an outing with the kids, and I got to spend time with Sarah going Ikea shopping to buy curtains and other things to spice up the sanctuary of the Episcopal Center they use for Friday nights (imagine green curtains!). That evening, Sunny, Grace, and I went on a prayer walk through the campus, and my heart really went out for the students there and our Austin church members who are laboring for the gospel to be known there. We also got to go to the dining commons and met some students. Here’s Grace and me – we were neither UT students (or students of any kind!) nor were we Austin residents! Yet, we were welcomed so warmly by a sweet sophomore girl we met who engaged us in conversation throughout the whole meal. And guess what? She thought we were college freshmen! : )

It was so good to physically see right before me the campus, the students, the city, and our Austin team members in their homes and in action because it really made the prayer requests and the updates I hear or read that much more concrete and personal. Now, as I pray for UT-Austin and our church there, I have in my mind and heart a clear picture and it helps me pray all the more specifically and earnestly. Though the trip was really short (and we both really wanted to stay a bit longer!), I’m so thankful for the opportunity I had to be there, doing life together for those terse two and a half days, along side them. That week’s DT passage in Philippians 1:27 came alive as I was convicted that whether we are in Berkeley or in Austin, indeed we strive to “stand firm in one spirit, contending as one man for the faith of the gospel.” Go Longhorns! : )